"Thank you ladies and gentlemen, if you would kindly walk this way - <ahem> no, no, this way....
The chairs are Edwardian and have hand worked tapestry seats. Shams are used to protect the delicate work. Remember, this is a family home, not just a Stately one ;) Or of course- a complete sham.
Upon this table resides a mid 19th century inlaid tray with brass edge ( very handy for braining burglars ) and several fine pieces of silverware, ( very handy for luring in said burglars.)
At the West end of the Dining room lies the Library. Here are very many fine and educating books. Lady Newstead has read every one, some twice. She is a very educated lady. And modest. :)
Upon the library shelves can also be seen more examples of the family Mercury glass ( T.K. Maxx dynasty*1) and a 19th century Tantalus*2 in Coromandel wood. This has three beautifully cut decanters which have been empty since the time of the Miserly Earl. He was too mean to even torment his staff with full decanters they couldn’t open! The Miserly Earl loved Mercury glass as it needs no polishing unlike silver and so he could employ less servants to do so.
The beautiful Victorian wire plant stand in the corner of the Library contains plastic plants. Don’t tell anyone. It was recovered from the Glass house which blew down in 1910...well, what do you expect if you makes houses of glass? Now if it had been made of plastic.......
The 17th century Dutch dummy board by the window is known as Alys. She is a copy of one that is in the collection of Wilberforce House on Humberside and Lady Newstead’s favourite dummy board. She was painted to prevent Lady Newstead from mounting an all out assault on Wilberforce House and stealing said historical dummy board. The twelfth Earl just managed to foil the ‘plot’ by acquiring some photos for Lady Newstead to paint from...and a piece of mdf from Wickes.
On the Library wall you will see two early ( the architect was an insomniac ), architects drawings. These were commissioned by the *3Anglian Earl who wanted to ‘improve’ the frontage of the house in a very Classical way. Sadly he died before the project could get underway and his son was the mad Shirty Earl. ( see part one ) This is probably where the phrase...” what do you think you can get that for - shirt buttons...?” came from. ( See part one ).
Returning to the Blue Dining Room you will notice a very fine example of Lorenzo Booth’s*4 work. This burr walnut sewing box is complete with its original early 19th century interior wallpaper lining and the colours of the wood inlay on the inside lid, remain as fresh today as the day it was made in about 1840 - See ! -The Antiques Roadshow*5 is right. No light means, still bright!
Now now!
Upon this sits a fine example of a re-figured oil lamp from the 19th century. The enamel flower painting on the brass base is exquisite and the present Lady Newstead was going to steal this from the antique shop, if her husband had not bought it for her 50th birthday.
Above the sewing table is a beautiful mid nineteenth century Gilt second Empire Clock with Sevres panels. This chimes the hour and the half hour and is nearly always kept five minutes slow to commemorate the late arrival of the eighth Earl at the Battle of Balaclava. Sadly he was wearing a bobble hat.
In the opposite corner of the Dining Room is a late Georgian ( 1790 ) Burr Walnut fall front desk, known as Bertie. Don’t ask. This was handed down from the time of the Illiterate Earl, the sixth Lord Newstead of Brackley. It is in perfect condition because - it was never used...he being illiterate. It is used however, in modern times, to complete the estate accounts, write begging letters and fix the lotttery.
The inside is particularly fine being *venerealed ( another printing error in the guide book - ) throughout in burr walnut which is unusual as the insides were often of plainer wood. It is thought that the Forgetful Earl, one of the sons of number seven,( he can't quite remember), paid the maker twice for the same item, after his Father's death. He got his money's worth. No ...this was not the Miserly Earl. His brother, the Lazy Earl, commissioned and sat upon the corner chair ( c. 1800 and made in Elm ) and died at an early age, of a square bottom.
On this bureau sits a beautiful example of a late Georgian inlaid tea caddy*7, ( 1790 ) complete with its lead lining and crystal mixing bowl. Lead?...hmmm...more poisoning.
We now pass into the servants quarters ( or would be if we had any ) and the kitchen. The present Earl likes cooking. Good job as Lady Newstead hates it. Having no cook, they would starve if the Earl didn’t do the food shopping and the cooking. The estate has shares in Waitrose.
If you look up at the window, you will see a lambrequin*8 made in Anna French fabric - Bird in the Bush. Lady Newstead made this piece with her own fair hand...just so she could show off the fact that she knows what a lambrequin is. ;)
‘The bird in the bush’ is the family motto. It stems from the days of the Wars of the Roses*9 when the Newstead family sided with the Yorkist cause, simply because they liked white roses better than red ones. Red ones, you see, would not go with the kitchen’s pale violet walls and the blue and white accessories, many of which can be seen lining the cupboard tops. The fine collection of Delft *10 was acquired by the Colourblind Countess, wife of Earl number three, who thought she was paying for one of those pretty new fangled dinner services from China. ( The collection of Delft cost as much as one of these in those days ). The family motto refers to an incident when the third Earl was found, by his wife, cavorting with a servant girl in the kitchen garden behind the gooseberry bushes. The price for her to keep quiet was the Delft.
The correct motto is, "A bird in the bush is worth two in your hand". Think about it. :)
Now we ascend the Jacobean Staircase. Above the staircase is the collection of the Miserly Earl’s one legged decoy birds. He was too mean to buy the two legged variety.
Lady Aviana, a friend of Georgiana Duchess of Devonshire in the 18th century*11 ( have you noticed how they all end in ana.... maybe they missed off the l?) and wife of the sixth Earl, was a big bird - collector. She acquired many of the avian art examples around the house. Not wanting to be outdone by her husband, she commissioned the decoy ducks. Just to spoil the symmetry.
I will leave you here. Please note the excellent pictures in the Short Gallery as you ascend. It won't take long.
An upstairs guide will be with you in a moment. I'm only a downstairs guide. Humph! Upstairs, Downstairs...it's all the same to me.
Do please mind the dog's bones as you step up. She will leave them on the stairs.They often trip up our unwary guests. In this abode, they're known as relics. The bones...not the guests.....Don't worry if you break your neck; dead guests are interred with all due care and attention, in the mausoleum*12 on the estate. Where do you think the dog gets her bones?"
Explanation
*1 T.K. Maxx is a cheap shop.... not cheap and nasty but cheap and "I can really do without this?".
*2 A Tantalus is a wooden box which houses liquor in decanters which are locked in. They are visible to one's household staff but not available. Hence it's tantalising...named after a poor Greek chap who was immersed in a pool of water, forever, which, when he dipped his head to drink, receded every time.
*3 There is a famous double glazing company called Anglian Windows, Home improvement, don't ya know.
*4 Lorenzo Booth was a 19th century furniture maker whose signature was a barley twist form. The sewing box can be identified as his work from this. Either that or someone was having us on.
*5 Inlaid work remains colourful if light doesn't get to it. A fact which the Antiques Roadshow ( a T.V. Programme ) goes in for in a big way.
*6 The lids were actually there to keep the choccy warm. Them old houses were cold. Brrrr
*7 Tea was a very expensive commodity and so had to be locked away from the servants. The Mistress of the house would blend her own to taste, in the crystal bowl. The dregs would be scattered on the carpets and be swept up, thereby collecting the dust. Nowadays - the tea is re-used in cheap tea bags, of course, after use on the carpets.
*8 Lambrequin a flat material covered pelmet which extends down the sides of the windows. See...you knew that didn't you?
*9 The Wars of the Roses was fought between two rival families The Yorkists and The Lancastrians, in the 15th century. It was all about who was going to be King and so eat all the chocolates. They took two different colours of roses as their emblem....the one with the hazelnut in and the sticky toffee one. { sorry couldn't resist this reference to an English box of choccies ;) }
*10 Delft. This has practically become a word for China, which has become a word for crockery. In the 17th century Delft blue and white was horrendously expensive. It still is.
*11 The Duchess from the film about Chatsworth. She was a bit of a one.
*12 A Mausoleum - is a building specially built to house dead people. Rather like the Houses of Parliament. It's named after an ancient King of what is now Turkey, Mausolus who was the first to build himself such a nice little pad.
* Should read veneered but in this family no one ever got veneered.
Loved this one too
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